![]() ![]() Because trust me, they are capable of anything. I think she hates children.” Ladies, know that every man you’re sitting next to tonight, if you could get into their head and see every thought they have ever had, you would immediately pull out a gun and blow your head off. “Sometimes when I was a kid, I’d come home from school “she wasn’t happy to see me. And if you put me on TV the next day and I was completely honest with myself, I’d be like, “I can fucking see it. You never could have seen it coming? I’ve never met anyone in my entire life that I couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that they are capable of awful things. I never could have seen this coming.” Maybe you should be locked up for six months. Might want to put in a mercy rule.Īnd the next time we have one of these tragedies– inevitably, we will– and you happen to be so unfortunate enough to know the person that’s being accused of the crime, do us all a favor and don’t get on TV the next day and be like, “I lived next to him for 32 years. Who wants tickets to the softball game now? Yeah, it’s gonna get pretty tense. “Well, what about white people?” White people can be firefighters. And if any of you have issue with this, it’s because you’re racist. You want to get rid of that forever? How about this? Only black people should be allowed to be cops. These things just keep happening, you know, whether it’s Ferguson or Baltimore. “We’re top ten.” And they’d be like, “That’s fair.” “It was that number one stuff that was getting old.” America’s basically turned into one of these factories where we just have a sign up like, “It’s been 22 days since our last horrible thing.” Then it’s like, “Oop, all right, rip it down. Maybe if we started screaming that every day, maybe terrorists would stop trying to saw our heads off. It’s hard to think we’re better than that. People in Kansas, “We’re the greatest country in the world.” It’s like, do you guys have Internet there? You ever seen a photo of Fiji? I’ve never been to Fiji, but I’ve seen photos. Do we have to constantly scream we’re number one? It’s always the people that live in the most boring parts of this country that scream the loudest. The greatest country in the world… if you haven’t traveled a lot. That same year he hit the road with his People Pleaser tour, which was released via Comedy Central in 2016.Comedy Central Stand-up Special performed at The Wilshire Ebell Theater, in Los Angeles, July 2015Ĭoming down the mountain In 2012, the network also signed for an animated series from the comedian, the wilderness camp-based Brickleberry. The Comedy Central special would land on both CD and DVD that same year. The show was an instant hit, and in 2011 the announcement of its renewal for a third season coincided with the airing of Tosh’s Happy Thoughts. Things would change drastically in 2009 when Comedy Central began airing Tosh.0, a half-hour television series that combined the comedian’s sarcastic commentary with outlandish online video clips. Two years later his Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious special aired on Comedy Central with a DVD release soon after. In 2005, the cable network's record label released his debut, the CD/DVD combo True Stories I Made Up. He made his first appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman in 2001, and a year later was hosting his first standup special, Comedy Central Presents Daniel Tosh. He was soon appearing at comedy festivals as far away as New Zealand and Kilkenny, Ireland, and averaging 100 college campus performances a year. After touring the comedy club circuit, a successful performance at the prestigious Just for Laughs International Comedy Festival in Montreal introduced him to the big time. In Miami, Tosh created and hosted the late-night television show Tens, where he would interview and mock the numerous models who inhabit the city's South Beach area. Born in Germany but raised in Florida, Tosh is the son of a preacher, a fact that shocks nearly everyone who has encountered his edgy and flippant act. Sharp, snide, and just about as wicked as they come, standup comedian and television host Daniel Tosh is a master of sardonic material. ![]()
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